You'll feel seen
That look you gave the government website at 2am? Someone else gave it too. Now there's a whole book about it.
A funny, affectionate book about life in Spain
Spain is broken… and I'm never leaving.
Essays on paperwork, siestas, strikes and the long lunch that fixes everything. For anyone who has queued for a stamp, lost an argument with a government office, and still can't picture living anywhere else.
- For expats and Spaniards
- Written in English
- Humour with a heart
Overheard in Spain
- “Cita previa? The next free slot is in February.”
- “Everything closes for lunch. Including the place that sells lunch.”
- “Mañana doesn't mean tomorrow. It means not today.”
- “Dinner at 10pm is early, apparently.”
- “It works perfectly, as long as you don't ask how.”
- “Take a number. Now wait, we've lost the numbers.”
- “The strike is tomorrow. Or was it yesterday?”
Why read it
Because you've lived at least one of these chapters
Spain drives you mad and wins you over in the same afternoon. This book tells the truth about both.
It's funny on purpose
Satire with affection. The jokes go after the system and the situations, never the people doing their best inside them.
Insider knowledge, no lecture
You'll pick up how things really work (and why they don't) without a single bullet-pointed checklist.
Essays you can finish
Read one over a coffee, on the metro, or in the waiting room of the gestoría. You'll have the time.
A love letter in disguise
Under every complaint there is a very good reason to stay. The book keeps finding them.
The gift for anyone Spain-adjacent
New arrivals, long-timers, homesick Spaniards abroad, and the friend who says they'll move here “one day”.
Written for both sides of the counter
Whether you came here on purpose or were born into it.
The handbook nobody gave you at the airport
You've learned the words for “appointment”, “certificate” and “come back tomorrow”. Here's where you find out you're not the only one, and that it's all going to be fine.
- Finally understand why it's closed. Again.
- Recognise your own culture shock in someone else's jokes
- Send it to your family back home so they get it
Laugh at ourselves before anyone else does
We complain about Spain better than anyone. This book does it with love, in a language your foreign friends, partner and in-laws can finally read.
- Spot your uncle in at least three chapters
- Explain Spain to your Erasmus friends without a 40-minute monologue
- Read it and feel oddly proud
Inside the book
A field guide to organised chaos
A few of the places the book takes you.
The Gestoría Chronicles
Cita previa, NIE, padrón and a stamp from a man who is at breakfast. A field guide to Spanish paperwork, with feeling.
Mañana, Maybe
Lunch at three, dinner at ten, sobremesa until further notice. Why nothing starts on time and nobody minds.
Please Mind the Strike
Trains, tickets and the yearly discovery that today is a huelga day.
La Comunidad
Building meetings, the neighbour who knows your business and the WhatsApp group that never sleeps.
Bar Diplomacy
Eating standing up, the free tapa, and the terror of not knowing whose turn it is.
Vale, Vale, Vale
The words you learn in class and the ones you learn in the pharmacy queue.
…and a lot of reasons to stay.
Spain is broken. That's exactly why we love it.
Read the book. Then tell us why you're staying.
Get the book
Grab your copy
Available as paperback and eBook. Pick the shop you like best.
- AmazonSoon
- Apple BooksSoon
- KoboSoon
- Bookshop.orgSoon
Launch links are on the way. Join the club and you'll hear first.
Questions, answered
Is the book in English or Spanish?
It's written in English. If you're a Spaniard, that's the perfect excuse to finally explain to your foreign friends what you've been trying to tell them for years.
Who is this book for?
Expats living in Spain, Spaniards living here or abroad, and anyone who has fallen for the country against their better judgement. If you've ever queued, laughed and stayed anyway, it's for you.
Is it mean about Spain?
No. It's affectionate satire. The jokes are about systems, habits and situations, and they're told by someone who decided to stay. Think of it as teasing your best friend, not insulting a stranger.
Is it a guide to moving to Spain?
No, it's a humour book. It will leave you feeling prepared in spirit, but it isn't legal or practical advice. For visas, taxes and paperwork, always check official sources or ask a professional.
Where can I buy it?
Use the shop buttons on this page. The book is available as paperback and eBook from several retailers.
How do I share my story or get a pin on the map?
Visit The Club and use the form there. Every story is read before it appears, and your email is never shown.
I'm a blogger or journalist. Can I write about it?
Please do. Get in touch at hello@your-domain.com.
Come for the chaos. Stay for the long lunch.
Spain is broken. Read all about it.